Where in the world is Chief Timoney? This week's answer: Denver!

Travel buddies.

Last September, we detailed the travels of Police Chief John Timoney, who seemed to spend more time on the road schmoozing than in Miami, you know, being chief.

Alas, Timoney's rambling ways have not been cured. This week, we find the chief -- who, as an aside, bears an uncanny resemblance to Grandma Moses -- in Denver, at the Democratic convention. Strange place to find a non-partisan public official, you might say? Not if you're really good at making up titles for yourself.

Timoney, it turns out, is holding a press conference as a "Police Executive Research Forum President" -- only because "Shah of Everything Police-y" was presumably already taken. He, along with BFF Manny Diaz and Denver Mayor John Hickenlooper, will "stress the need for the Presidential Campaigns to be more focused on crime in America and the challenges of urban/metropolitan areas," as the Wall Street Journal puts it. We decided not to paraphrase for fear of the bullshit melting our brain.

Let's face it: Timoney will be eating cubed cheese on the dime of somebody who definitely isn't him, and most likely is you. Ah, if only somebody could hold a press conference stressing the need for our police chief to be more focused on crime in Miami.

To read more on Timoney's past travels, check out our feature "John Timoney, America's Worst Cop."

-- Gus Garcia-Roberts