Hulk Hogan Don't Know Best

When the excruciatingly bad Miami-based T.V. show “Hogan Knows Best,” began back in 2005, folks foresaw two travesties in the making. First, the show’s narrative through-line was about as compelling as the back of a cereal box. And second, the characters made us South Floridians look super blond and vapid.

The faux-reality series (Turns out, it was scripted) chronicled an aging Hulk Hogan and his mostly dull family life. Then something much worse happened.

While driving drunk in August 2007, the former WWF wrester’s 17-year old son Nick smashed into a tree in Clearwater. The crash left his 23-year-old friend John Graziano, a U.S. Marine, with a broken skull. He’ll likely be wheelchair-bound and need care for the rest of his life.

Five weeks ago, a former Florida wrestler by the name of Tako decided to make a statement about Hogan’s reaction to the accident. He was outraged the millionaire hasn’t given more money to the Graziano family. So he hauled a life-sized statue of Hogan, in his WWF spandex, to the front of his $19 million Miami home. Then he sawed it to pieces. Afterwards, he posted the whole thing on Youtube.com.

“I wanted it to be a slap in the face,” Tako says. “He has all the money in the world and he hasn’t done anything to help.”

Now, Tako is doing something a little more constructive. He’s put together a fundraiser for the Graziano family. Money earned will go towards making their home wheelchair accessible.

The auction is set for Nov. 14 in Passion Night Club at Hollywood’s Seminole Hard Rock. He expects Miami Heat and Florida Panthers players to be there and will be auctioning sports memorabilia. (That’ll include b-ball shoes signed by Shaquille O'Neal.) Tickets are $20 and it starts at 8 p.m.

Says Tako: “If it were my son, Hogan wouldn’t be walking this earth right now.”

-- Natalie O'Neill