Joe Biden Has A Third Nipple

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You know how McCain's sudden lead in the polls was just a post-convention bump? How it was supposed to dissipate by the end of the week? Well It's the end of the week and McCain is still leading. Most people are praising Palin for the surge. Yes, despite all 71 documented rumors that are currently circulating, America seems to love them some Pitbulls in Lipstick.

Meanwhile no one seems to care about poor little Joe Biden. No one has even bothered to doctor emails suggesting he had an affair with some reporter. So in the interest of fairness Riptide is encouraging everyone to start spreading rumors about Joe Biden. We can't let Sarah Palin have all the tabloid glory.

Here're some suggestions. Feel free to add your own.

  • Joe Biden knows sexism first hand. After losing a City Council seat despite being by far the most intelligent and promising candidate, he changed his name from Jolene Biden and decided to live the rest of his life as a man.
  • His son, Beau Biden, may have had a short gay porn career under the stage name “Mo Riden”.
  • About 19 years ago Joe had a one-time fling with a stranger in an airport bathroom. A few months later, that lady found out she was pregnant. She didn't know anything about the man, let alone that he was a Senator. All she could remember was the brand of jeans he wore. So she named the son Levi and moved to Alaska.
  • Jill Biden is the Zodiac Killer.
  • The real reason Joe Lieberman left the Democratic party? Joe Biden screwed him over on a time share in Boca.

-- Kyle Munzenrieder

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