Replace Sex Ed with Horror Ed

Categories: News
happy-condom.jpg
There is too little Smiling Condom Clip Art in the world.
A new study shows that one in four US teenagers will contract a STD, mainly because they're not using condoms. The study surveyed groups of kids in Atlanta, Providence, and Miami, and found that teens who had unprotected sex thought that either a) sex was just better without latex or b) their partner would pressure them to go bareback anyway.

Which should be another nail in the coffin for abstinence only Sex Ed. I think we should replace all Sex Ed with a new horror-based system, because that shit is scary.

Just strap kids in a dark room and flash things in front of them like

1 in 5 AMERICAN ADULTS HAVE HERPES! SERIOUSLY ONE IN FIVE!
YOU DON'T WANT TO RAISE A KID YET. THEY'RE HELL. JUST ASK YOUR MOM!
AIDS! AIDS! AIDS! ITS BAD OK! DON'T HAVE SEX!

Intersperse it with various pictures of genital warts and other outbreaks, and if kids ever want to have casual sex again, they'll be damn sure to wear a condom. Yeah, maybe we shouldn't scare people into making good decisions, but frankly I'd rather be preemptively scared than shaking in my boots while dealing with the consequences.

--Kyle Munzenrieder


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