NPR host Garrison Keillor rips Sarah Palin and the GOP a new one

George Bush with big hair.

And they say NPR is mild-mannered. Garrison Keillor recently proved that public radio hosts can rant just an emphatically -- albeit with a bit more eloquence -- as their conservative talk-show counterparts. His essay on Sarah Palin and this election's determinedly forgetful Republican mindset, titled "George Bush with Big Hair" and penned for, is the political cyber equivalent of "I' m as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!" After the jump, the lede:

So the Republicans have decided to run against themselves. The bums have tiptoed out the back door and circled around to the front and started yelling, "Throw the bums out!" They've been running Washington like a well-oiled machine to the point of inviting lobbyists into the back rooms to write the legislation, and now they are anti-establishment reformers dedicated to delivering us from themselves. And Mayor Giuliani is an advocate for small-town America. Bravo.
They are coming out for Small Efficient Government the very week that the feds are taking over Fannie and Freddie, those old cash cows, and in the course of a weekend 20 or 50 (or pick a number) billion go floating out the Treasury door. Hello? Do you see us out here? We are not fruit flies, we are voters, we can read and write, we didn't just fall off the coal truck.
It is a bold move on the Republicans' part -- forget about the past, it's only history, so write a new narrative and be who you want to be -- and if they succeed, I think I might declare myself a 24-year-old virgin named Lance and see what that might lead to. Paste a new face on my Facebook page, maybe become the Dauphin Louie the Thirty-Second, the rightful heir to the Throne of France, put on silk tights and pantaloons and a plumed hat and go on the sawdust circuit and sell souvenir hankies imprinted with the royal fleur-de-lis. They will cure neuralgia and gout and restore marital vigor.

God, why didn't we write that? For more righteous (and we mean that in the Bill & Ted's sense) ire, read the full essay here.

-- Gus Garcia-Roberts

Sponsor Content

My Voice Nation Help

Now Trending

Miami Concert Tickets

From the Vault