Text-Messaged Proof that Miami is Alive and Bleeding

Categories: News

On Wednesday, we received the following text message from Disco Rick, multi-platinum producer of the above classic, "Your Momma's on Crack Rock":

From:Disco Rick

DIAMONDS CABARET
ROBBERY @CLUB 2DAY
WAS SAD. MANAGER
DAN WAS FRONTED BY 2
GUNMEN. DAN WAS
SHOT 3TIMES AS HE
RETURNED FIRE & SHOT
& KILLED 1 ROBBER. &
DAN IS OK

Ever vigilant, we called Diamonds Cabaret and asked about "Manager Dan". "Dan was shot," said the woman who picked up the phone and did not give a name, "He's in the hospital, and he won't be out for a very long time."

Trust that we're on the case. In the meantime, rest easy knowing Miami is still as Miami-tastic as ever.

-- Gus Garcia-Roberts


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