Dolphins Are Now Balls Deep in the Hunt

Categories: Sports

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All week long, Dolphins fans had the sweats thinking about what Broncos receiver Brandon Marshall was going to do to Miami’s secondary. And yet our boys in back stepped up and had their finest performance of the season. It all started with Will Allen's 32-yard interception return for a touchdown.

After that, it was all just a formality. Jay Cutler throwing three picks, Marshall being completely emasculated, Denver committing penalties left and right. It was magical. Best part of Sunday's win was watching the Broncos go all Bobby Brown-Whitney Houston before our very eyes: Cutler throwing towels on the field, Marshall walking off to the sidelines like a girl who just got the old cock-in-the-popcorn trick pulled on her at the movies, and Mike Shanahan looking like that guy in Scanners just before his head explodes.

Seriously, have you ever seen such a collective hissy fit from one team during a game? Sure, we've seen Tom Brady do it. But an entire team? This was new. And it was the tits.

The defense was iron-clad, holding Denver's running backs to a mere 14 yards for the entire game. Meanwhile, Joey Porter picked up his 11th and a half sack of the season and did that kicky celebration thing. Greg Camarillo set a career high with 11 catches for 111 yards. And Ricky Williams showed us just how invaluable he truly is with that balls-of-steel-and-mortar catch that set up the nail-in-the-coffin touchdown. And Ronnie Brown? Ronnie Brown is The Closer. Kyra Sedgwick can suck it.

As for Chad Pennington, he was solid enough when it counted. During that last drive -- after the Broncos took the momentum with a touchdown, the Denver crowd going batshit, the stadium shaking, the pressure most definitely on -- Pennington showed us all he has a sack that can fit the entire Rocky Mountains. He led the Fins down the field with those patented "Holy fuck, that's gonna get picked -- oh shit what a pass!" passes of his that culminated in the Ronnie TD to seal the deal. And it was game time. And the beer flowed. And the high-fives commenced. And the Dolphins are now suddenly playoff contenders. Next up: Seattle. Can you think of a more kick-ass way to start the week? I can't. Well, aside from maybe getting a full-friction lap dance from Megan Fox. But still. This is almost as good.

--Chris Joseph



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