"Sorry, I Can't Come Into Work Today, I'm Gay"

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Oh the proud history of Facebook-spread protest boycotts. Never forget the great Facebook strike of October, or those twenty times everyone was going to not purchase gas for a day. The latest to pop up in our news feed was "A Day With Out A Gay."

"LGBT workers, business owners, consumers and taxpayers contribute over $700 billion to the U.S. economy each year and should not be treated as second class citizens." OMG, the Gays paid for the bailout! So now they are going to "call in Gay" for the day, skip work, and not spend any money thus temporarily devastating Calvin Klien's underwear industry, and leaving fashion reality tv shows with out bitchy hosts. That'll learn 'em good.

Whatever, this is ten times better than threatening the Mormons with faux-anthrax (honey, that is so William Ayers) and whatever tiny bits of irresponsible protest that the right wing blogs can zero in on (though, this could be alleviated if a right wing wacko scrawled a rainbow on her cheek and blamed it on a gay).

Note to Shepard Fairey and whoever designed this logo. The fist symbol may have a strong protest history, but, well, let's just say you try putting in "Gay Fist" into Google image search with safesearch off and see if your eyes don't pop out into a pool of your own vomit. Or maybe you'll learn something new about yourself, who knows.

Anyway, protest can be awesome sometimes. But you know what works more? Talking to the homophobes nicely in slow monosyllablic word they can understand, doing the ol' write a letter to your congressman routine, and politely remind your local religious officials that they could spread the word of Jesus a lot more effectively, by, um, doing just that instead of spewing down hellfire upon what basically amounts to a contract. We half-heartedly suggest just calling up every number in the phonebook and asking "Are you a homophobe?" and talk to them rationally or something. Seriously, half of them are ready to be onboard with civil union, and I'm pretty sure most of them aren't even aware that in the case of Amendment 2 they voted against them. That'll really call it in gay.

--Kyle Munzenrieder

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