Charlie + Carol = Tru Luv 4Eva

The straight-people wedding of the century is this weekend, and our beloved Gov. Charlie Crist will marry this fancy New York socialite/whoopee cushion heiress, Carole Rome. Are the woman of Florida not good enough for you, Charlie? They have elected you. Has this woman ever elected you?

The Tampa Tribune says "Crist's Fiancee Is No Stranger to Life at the Top." I guess Charlie likes his partners on top.

When she divorced her last husband, she asked for alimony even though she is a Destiny's Child-style independent woman who makes her own money because she is used to "nannies, chauffeurs, and second and third homes." Look, they have so much in common, because Charlie just asked taxpayers to shut up and foot the bill for his $480,000 jaunt to Europe.

Furthermore, she is the president of a company that sells gag gifts and Halloween costumes, including, presumably, fake beards.

God, we feel so bad for writing this mean-spirited post about Charlie Crist. We should just be glad he didn't try to sell Mel Martinez's senate seat today. Congratulations, you two. Riptide wishes you all the best.

-- Kyle Munzenrieder