Charlie Crist Cements His Choice to Be Straight

If there's one thing we've learned from listening to social conservative talking points over the past few years, it's that sexual orientation is just a matter of choice. So let's all celebrate our governor's choice to be straight with his official commitment to Carole Rome.  

Tragically, Bruce Jordan did not try to crash the wedding Graduate-style, and except for some expected (and encouraged) protesters, things went off without a hitch. Until the kiss. Reportedly Charlie went in for just a brief touch of the lips, when his new wife had to remind him how this whole kissing-a-woman-thing works, and pulled him back for a longer smooch.
Other than that, things were pretty ho-hum for a power wedding, until Republican Party of Florida chair Jim Greer apparently took to the mike and belted out two Elvis Presley songs.

So our governor is married to this wonderful lady, and so ends this golden age of gay jokes.

-- Kyle Munzenrieder

Image Via: HuffPo