Local Teens Love Anal Sex

A new study by the Bradley Hasbro Children's Research Center shows that more and more adolescents are engaging in anal loving. Sixteen percent taking part in the study had engaged in "heterosexual anal intercourse," and only 29 percent of those escapades involved condoms.

Teens are increasingly taking the back door route because obviously no one is going to wind up with a baby. But they also use it as a way to remain a "technical virgin," and because they incorrectly think it's safer. (Another study, from 2005, showed that teens who make "virginity pledges," just like the Jonas Brothers have done, are more likely to engage in anal and oral sex to remain pure, but less likely to use condoms).

Not sure how representative the study is, though, because the researches collected data from teens only in three cities, one of which is, of course, Miami.


So note to local teens: I know that anal sex seems so fun and glamorous and all the celebrities are doing it (except for the Jonas Brothers), but honestly, maybe that's the kind of thing you should save for a more mature relationship. How does the saying go: who's going to buy the chocolate factory? And for the love of God, if you're going to do it, use a condom. Besides the obvious STD factors, poop dick is no fun.

--Kyle Munzenrieder