Porter, Fins Lay a Beatdown on Niners

The two most vicious hits in Sunday's Dolphins-49ers defensive power struggle both came in the waning minutes of the ballgame.

First, with the Niners sitting in the red zone, trying to punch in a touchdown and take their first lead of the day, a bunch of security guys absolutely destroyed some random dude in jean shorts who drunkenly stumbled onto the field and ran toward the end zone.

Two plays later, Joey Porter absolutely destroyed some random dude running the 49ers offense -- journeyman QB Shaun Hill -- netting a fourth-down sack and sealing a winning season for the Dolphins.

The Fish didn't exactly dominate a mediocre-as-hell San Fran team -- Chad Pennington and the offense got about as much face time as Alan Colmes in a Fox News debate. But somehow, with the Niners marching up and down the field at will all game long, the Dolphins' D refused to allow a touchdown and put another win in the books.

For the hundreds of fans who stuck around in Dolphin Stadiums' parking lots after the game (the freaking rip-off city, wallet-busting, $25 parking lots, Riptide has to point out), downing the last of those Natty Lights and playing catch in their Csonka replica jerseys, it didn't really matter how ugly the win looked. Next to 1-15, win number nine looked pretty goddam sweet.

 -- Tim Elfrink