Diary of an Overtown Pimp, Part 2
Outrageous. I been a pimp, a hit man and a dealer. And for all the wrong I've done, they put me in the pen for stealing a pack of pork chops.
When the cops drove by, I heard the sirens and I had to hide them chops. I threw them on to of the roof of the store and ran. I fell and the cop caught up to me. He said, "Well, homeboy, good thing you are tired of runnin'. I would have shot you." He was in a thick leather police coat.
Hell, I'll say this: He didn't throw me on the ground and rough me up. He figured they would get me down at the station. But I look down and I see my leg bleeding. Must have cut myself falling. Then I see two ambulances coming down the street and they wave to us. I assume the po po want a nice clean case, so better to have me check out. So they sent me to the hospital.
I am in the emergency room and I see me on TV! The pork chop
bandit. News people say I was facing one count of robbery and three counts of
felonious assault. The doc checks me out. Don't need no stitches. Damn
if it ain't the same doctor who seen me a few weeks ago when I got hit
with a hammer. Interns got a kick out of looking at the hole in my
head. "That should be plenty of painkiller; you've been drinking," he
said. (In an Indian accent.) "Good thing you have thick bones. Another
inch, you would have needed a stretcher."
(More after jump.)
So now the cops cuff me and walk me out of the hospital to the police car. "Take a good look at the nurses," one says. "You wont be seeing women for a while." I'm thinking I ain't did nothing wrong but steal a pack of pork chops. The cop says they should have got me for the hotdogs I stole from the corner store the other day. The owner don't play! He says they just gave a lady three years for stealing baby food from there. I'm thinking, I really done screwed myself now. Then I hear they got me for assault on a law enforcement officer, too.
I ended up doing time in the state pen, but they could never find the pork chops. They didn't need it, though. They got me on tape. Owner is still looking for them chops as far as I'm concerned.