Desperate soccer team threatens suicide unless Miamians buy tickets
Wikimedia Commons An artist's rendering of Miami FC management.
There's something definitely extortive about the latest press release from Miami FC, the under-attended and gravely endangered second-tier pro soccer team that allegedly plays at Tropical Park Stadium.
At this point, we are around 1,250 ticket packages sold. So we are far off of the target of 5,000. While we don't necessarily have to hit the 5,000 mark to continue, we must get closer. The combination of season tickets and other forms of support will determine our decision. As of now, we continue to ask, does South Florida truly want a professional soccer team?
To which we ask: are you sure you want to ask that? Call me an asshole, but I think South Floridians have made their decision. Now it's time for Miami FC to stop the sad-sack Girl Scout-esque fundrasing-for-a-few-extra-dollars and make theirs. Like all Americans, we're sick of being begged for a bailout.