Miami Blog

via Wikimedia Commons

Remember the simpler times of the early 1990s? Those good ol' days when the tabloid headlines told the story of an underage girl who had an affair with a guy named Joey Buttafuoco and then shot his wife in the face? Ah, yes.

Well, the girl involved, Amy Fisher, is all grown up and has been living off her notoriety in the saddest way possible. After getting out of prison in '99, she became a columnist for the Long Island Express, before deciding to do porn (it pays better than writing -- can't blame her).

The Long Island Lolita promises to be at Miami Beach's Exxxotica, one of the biggest adult entertainment expos on the East Coast, during its duration, May 8 through 10. Yes, that happens to coincide with Mother's Day, and Ms. Fisher will be hosting a MILF contest. The winner of the MILF contest gets a trip to Jamaica, where hopefully she'll have a long, long time to come to terms with what she did onstage to win this and the psychological damage it will inflect on her children for the rest of their lives.