Benevolent Semi-Truck from Outerspace Lands in South Miami

Ooo, yeah, take that camera, take it. I'm shooting you so good, baby.

No matter how humid the weather, summer has not arrived until Michael Bay says so. Wear all the sunscreen you want, but until that V8 engine of a brain (disguised by sweet-smelling angel's hair) unleashes its latest hailstorm of sweat and bullets, it is still the post-Oscar spring doldrums.

Put away thy Spock ears and Vader helmets, my fellow nerd-bots. Our wait is over. For tonight, April 29, 2009, we dine in Cybertron.

Come see the sneak preview of the brand-new, full-length trailer for Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen at AMC Sunset Place (5701 Sunset Dr., Miami). Though the trailer begins at 7 p.m. sharp, true Decepticons will mobilize at least an hour beforehand to flaunt our battle garb and be among the first 25 in line who'll receive a free special-edition disc of the original Transformers film, which will play directly afterward in a one-time return to the big screen.

Those who cannot make it have failed me.