If We're Gonna Put Jesus on a License Plate, Can He At Least Look Happy to Be There?

Categories: Politicks
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Jesus Christ on a cross. That was the image Sen. Gary Siplin (D-Orlando) wanted to see on a  proposed license plate. Needless to say, it caused a bit of controversy, so now he's rethinking the image and might replace it with a pic representing the Holy Trinity. But what about the Unitarian Christians? Where is their license plate?

Jesus was a nice enough dude that he probably deserves his own license plate, but the really heavy religious imagery being proposed is a tad much. Siplin should rethink the whole thing and go with a happier J.C.

Because, you know, the best way to worship Jesus is to commoditize him, slap his image on all sorts of stuff, make people feel like if they don't scream their love for him from their bumpers they're not real Christians, and try to make money from his image. Here are some ideas:

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Yeah, this was popular five years ago on Conan O'Brien's TV show, but Jesus looks upbeat here. Plus, seeing this on a license plate might encourage fat kids to play sports and go a long way in the task of Florida's hockey boosters trying to make their sport popular in a subtropical climate.
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Hey, Jesus, how you doing? Totally awesome! What's heaven like, Jesus? Totally awesome! Jesus, what do you think of my new shoes? Totally awesome! Jesus, Mommy got drunk last night and told me she doesn't really believe in you. Is she going to go to hell? Totally awesome!

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This is some actual bling owned by Kanye West. Not sure if bedazzler technology can be worked into license plate production, but it's worth looking into.

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The original plate makes Jesus look not just white, but down right translucent. Ya'll know Jesus was black, right?

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This t-shirt trend shall rise from the dead as a license plate.

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This just looks adorable.

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