Miami Police Bravely Target Petty Crimes Against Rich and Famous

Categories: The Judge
Miami has earned its rep as a world-class mecca of crime.

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Just this weekend, Miami Police gunned down a man stalking the streets with a machete. In recent weeks, a Metrorail guard was murdered on the job, a young man's body -- chopped into tiny pieces and stuffed into bags -- floated ashore out of Biscayne Bay, and AK-47-wielding thugs continued months of shootouts in Liberty City.

Today, Miami Police announced a bold new plan to keep the Magic City safe: going after petty criminals who make life mildly unpleasant for the über-rich.

The new sting, called "Operation Difference Coral Way," will target quality-of-life crimes in the Brickell and Coral Way neighborhoods. Panhandlers are no longer welcome outside the Viceroy, in other words.

"Due to the increased presence of the rich and famous, the common criminal tries to find easy ways to sink their teeth into the luxury and glamour," Officer Jeffrey Giordano, a Miami Police spokesman, said in a release. "[This is] a continuing effort to combat crime and maintain the overall quality of life in an area that's become known as the forefront of international business and luxury."

Sure, we here at Riptide poke fun. But a guy named Rudy Giuliani did have a pretty good run with this exact idea up in NYC...

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