UFO Religion Founder Leads Topless Women in March Down Lincoln Road; Nobody Looks up From California Rolls

While we don't necessarily agree that aliens created life on Earth, we do concur that fat guys should have to wear bikinis.

Riptide just doesn't know how some people find the time. Take Claude Vorilhon, for instance. The French "sports-car journalist" changed his name to Raël and in 1974 founded Raëlism, a religion based on his personal encounter with aliens who created the Earth, which of course had nothing to do with the enormous amount of psychotropics he was ingesting at the time.

Well, Raël is also the founder of GoTopless.org, an organization dedicated to fighting for a woman's right to bare her chest in public. And on Sunday afternoon, Raël's half-naked minions will descend on cities across the country -- including Lincoln Road in South Beach --- to protest the injustice of laws that allow men, but not women, to flaunt their nips.

From the press release:

GoTopless.org includes not only Raelians, who believe all life on Earth was created by advanced extraterrestrial scientists called the Elohim, but women and men representing many other beliefs. GoTopless's primary goals: nationwide legal recognition of women's right to go bare-chested and its acceptance by the public.

"Breasts are noble parts of the anatomy," said Raelian Priestess Nadine Gary, president of GoTopless.org. "They shouldn't have to be hidden any more than arms or legs. 'Free your breasts, free your mind!' is our message to women. Men can practice respecting a freedom they take for granted and help end the puritanical idea that children shouldn't see breasts unless a woman is nursing."

But something tells us the great majority of spectators for this march will care little about neither female rights nor alien creators. It'll just be the same pervy dudes who lurk around the free yoga classes at Flamingo Park.

Anyway, oblivious pervs and topless women alike should report to the north corner of Lincoln Road and Washington Street at 3 p.m. on Sunday.