Hugo Chavez is in a Silent Cat Fight with Miss Universe

​Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez loves celebrities. He was Oliver Stone's date to the Venice International Film Festival, could probably convince Sean Penn to agree to be held captive and perform a stage rendition of his parts in Simple Jack I Am Sam, and is perhaps the only known person on the planet Earth who can actually stand Courtney Love. But he does not care very much for beauty queens, including current Miss Universe Stefania Fernandez, Venezuela's own.

One theory could be that he just doesn't like Venezuelans lavishing someone with so much attention that's not him, or because as a socialist he hates everything beauty pageants stand for. Who doesn't remember Karl Marx's stirring work A Contribution to the Critique of Glitter and Rhinestones?

Chavez won't call Fernandez with a congratulation, not even on his penis phone!

He probably hasn't forgotten the time the previous Miss Universe, also a Venezuelan, visited Guantanamo Bay and couldn't stop raving about how great it was, when Chavez was calling it basically a torture camp.

[Daily Beast: Hugo and the Hottie]