Burger King Will Sponsor Next Twilight Movie

​Not being in the target audience, we know only these things about the Twilight movies: sparkling vampires, forbidden love, vagina allergies, Kristen Stewart's pouty face, and Taylor Lautner's abs.

None of this makes us want to run out and chomp on a Whopper and onion rings. Especially the abs part. (When will society realize the unreasonable and harmful body image ideals it places upon young men, hmmm?) So someone explain to us how it makes sense that Miami-based Burger King is sponsoring the next Twilight movie.

Unless the King shows up as Bella's other love interest, we just don't understand.

Yes, stemming from its successful co-promotion of New Moon, Burger King has decided to "sponsor" the upcoming flick Eclipse -- due in theaters June 30.

"Fans of the hit Twilight Saga film series can expect more exclusive access to the property from Burger King Corp.," reads a press release.

Does this mean special menu items? Extra-bloody cheese burgers for team Edward? Garlic fries and a side of raw meat for team Jacob? Are these jokes even applicable? We have no idea.

We just know that a steady diet of fast food will ensure that no one loves you, not even a vampire with a lady-parts allergy, and it sure as hell won't get you werewolf abs.