Hand Puppets and Sweaty Canadians: Photo Lowlights From Super Bowl Media Day

Photo by Tim Elfrink

The world's sweatiest Canadian TV reporter gets funky with the Saints.

Well not to worry, ignorant and uninvited masses. Riptide is here to shatter those dreams.

Imagine, instead, an airless room packed way beyond fire code with grotesquely sweaty  camera men and TV reporters pancaked with makeup screaming hysterically for attention, while dead-eyed football players recite dull cliches they memorized on the bus.

There are mustachioed hand puppets, airports-at-Thanksgiving-level security lines and insanely dressed Telemundo stars. Chris Berman is in attendance.

Be thankful, then, that we braved the ninth circle of NFL hell known as Media Day at Sun Life Stadium and came away -- barely -- with these photo lowlights. Click through if you dare.

Photo by Tim Elfrink

This line stretched out to the parking lot around 10 a.m. At least one dude was screaming in German and gesturing at his camera equipment while a team of dogs sniffed at it for 45 minutes. Great way to get everyone in a good mood for Q & A time.

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Photo by Tim Elfrink

Britto teepeed the stadium! Call the cops! I think he hit the mailbox out front with a bat on the way out.

Photo by Tim Elfrink

There is apparently something called the "Hawaii 5-0 News Network." This man works for said network. Yes, the ponytail is in the job description.

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