Jersey Shore in South Beach: 10 Snooki-Shopped Plot Suggestions
So through the latest technology of Snooki-shopping (Photoshopping Snooki into images), Riptide presents ten suggested plot lines we'd really, really love to see on the South Beach season.
1. Close Encounters of the Chonga Kind
Sure, South Beach has its own healthy supply of guidos, but like the cast, most of them have been imported from Long Island and New Jersey. But we're also home to the distant cousin of the guidette -- the chonga. Because the show is basically a culture experiment already, we need to know what would happen when you place a guido and a chonga in the same room. For pure cultural anthropology reasons. Would they fight? Hook up? Or would it be like that scene from I Love Lucy with Harpo Marx?
Warning before you proceed: A few of these images are slightly NSFW. Any explicit nastiness has been obscured (we'll give you one guess as to with what), but be prepared to scroll fast if your boss walks by.
2. The World Is Yours
3. Fist Pumping Is Considered Performance Art
|original image via Awesome-ish|
4. Visit the Everglades
5. Take a Ride on the Bang Bus
If this was actual reality, as in eight guidos winding up in Miami, it's pretty certain one of them would end up doing Internet porn. It's a law of math. Honestly.
Chances someone will do porn = [Need for attention + (bust size * insecurity) * (credit card debt/$1000)]/MoralsThe same equation works for men; just substitute bust size with "length in inches" or "willingness to do gay stuff." Yeah, yeah the cast is way too famous to do porn now (well, at least for Bang Bus-level pay), but are they above making a nonsex cameo? We hope not.