Jersey Shore Cast Must Get Medical Clearance Before Coming to Miami

Categories: Reality Bites
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So Jersey Shore is officially coming to South Beach for season two, but before the cast mates arrive, they'll have to undergo a series of medical tests.

We're not sure if it's for our safety or theirs. Lord knows what kind of health havoc they could wreak on our great city. I mean, they each have already promised to sleep with 100 Floridians.

So we suggest you take steps to keep yourself safe from the potentially deadly guido immunity virus. GIV renders the brain's common sense system useless against stopping a person from making decisions such as turning their skin bright orange, fist-pumping to horrible techno music, and wearing copious amounts of Ed Hardy. Though the disease might also allow the body to naturally produce its own source of hair gel.

There are still few details of what exactly the cast will be doing in Miami (y'know, besides gym, tanning, and laundry) or when they'll arrive.

The New York Post believes they might be here as early as this week. That means they could be here in time for Winter Music Conference. Do you think they'll make it to Ultra? We have a feeling they'd feel right at home.

Earlier reports had the cast living in a house off Lincoln Road, while others suggest they might live and work in a hotel.

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