Miami's Top Five Missed Connections Reveal Pick-Up Lines, Gold Diggers, and Fetishes

Categories: Listicles
BertErnie.jpg
In the spirit of our upcoming "Best of Miami" issue, we assembled a list of the best missed connections from the month of March. A big thanks to Craigslist for schooling us on one of the best pick-up lines we've heard in a long, long while.

1. With the toe compliment and all, we kinda can't believe the dame didn't go home with him on the spot. Maybe she understood he was looking to make a different kind of deposit.
"I like the toes" - m4w - 37 (Opa-locka)
The Wachovia Bank ATM in Opa-locka. I was on the phone right next to you and didn't get a chance to introduce myself, but i did let you know i digg the toes. Thought I'd give this a try. For all it's worth, hope all has been as sweet as you are cute.
2. It's nice to know you can get away with a sneaky butt grab from time to time and not be sued for harassment.
Miami Bike Ride - w4m - 69 (Wynwood)
Dear Bearded Bicyclist,
You were on the bike ride that started in Allapattah and ended up in Wynwood.
The graffiti murals were great, but you were spectacular.
I'm not sure if this actually happened, but I think you might have touched my butt.

Love to do it again.
3. Things were moving pretty fast for these two. Promises were made. Award-winning script partnerships established. There was even talk of franchising Szechuan cuisine. Also, somebody might have embellished his/her high school ranking.
Dear Valedictorian, - w4m - 18 (Chatroulette)
So, I'm not going to lie, I feel silly. I've never done this, but I felt really bad and I had to at least try to apologize if I plan on writing award-winning scripts with you. My computer freaked out while chatting, and on the off chance that you see this, just wanted you to know that I didn't mean to disconnect so abruptly and that I still plan on convincing that stir-fry place to expand their chain into the Miami area. That is all.
Good luck with the life stuff.
4. Cue up the 1987 hit "Mercedes Boy" and read on. This one included a photo collage of Bentleys parked in front of chateaus. We have an idea of what he called her as she crossed the street.
bby blu convertible rolls/bentley? - w4m - 45 (miami beach)
you were parked there at the curb with your white convertible top down, talking on your phone when i walked out of the store. you kept looking at me and we smiled at each other often, as i was walking towards the curb to cross, you pulled up to the light, staring at me the whole time you were talking.

you pulled the phone away from your ear and we exchanged some brief verbiage while still smiling at each other, you were flirting, i joked with you as i offered to help you out with a scratch you had. i was hoping you would offer me a ride.

you had on a long sleeve linen shirt rolled up at the sleeves and open at your chest...exposing your very hairy chest, you had a dark tan, stocky wide shoulders, dark hair but a little faint up top, illuminating aqua blue eyes and a very sexy accent!

i hope you or someone you know will see this and forward it to you. i really thought you were very sexy while you were talking business with someone on the phone. maybe you can tell me what i looked like, something of what we talked about, what time of day it was, where was the scratch, where is your accent from....or the flirtatious name you called me as i was walking across the street?????????
5. Although one never knows where Cupid's arrow will strike, we didn't expect any sparks to fly at a fast-food drive-thru. Shows what we know.
Pollo Tropical Drive Thru - w4m - 35 (NW 57th Ave & 7th Street)
We were both at the Drive Thru for lunch today at Pollo Tropical. I was in the Green Honda Pilot in front of you and you were in the black Dodge Ram pickup truck.
You told me about my brake light being out and to be careful that a jerk cop would stop me even though you were pretty sure I would be able to get out of it... I picked up my order at the window and then tried to wait up a little bit for you but I guess you had a complicated order cuz you took awhile and I couldn't wait anymore so I left. I will be there again next Thursday, same time. Hope to see you there.
Bonus Entry!
OK, so this one was obviously miscategorized, because no love connection was missed. Still, because we don't often come across such things, we thought we'd throw it in anyway. Oh, to be 22 and a freak again.

If a Woman's Sneezing Turns you on? - w4m - 22
Sneezing may sound strange but there are many of you who have a "sneeze fetish"...Do you want your thirst quench? If you don't know what it is then please don't contact me..but if you love to see HOT women sneeze then you need to hit me up!

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