Scott Storch's Arrest Warrant: You Might Be a Bad Dad If...
The first is a warrant for his arrest: He had failed to make child support payments to his 16-year-old son Steven's mother Vanessa Bedillo, causing them to be evicted from their Plantation house. They ended up crashing on Vanessa's parents' couches.
Our favorite part of the warrant: his bad-ass aliases Scotty, Storchavelli, Storchy.
The second document is a court server's description of what happened when he tried to serve Storch with contempt papers at his Palm Island mansion -- and the producer allegedly ordered a handler to plow the server down while he escapes in his Rolls Royce Phantom.
We have no problem with a person doing a lot of coke and blowing his fortune -- and we're not all that religious. But if you're still driving a $400,000 car and living in a $10.5 million house and are dodging court servers like it's good sport while your son is living on a couch and facing expulsion from his private school because you haven't paid the tuition, you better expect a brass-knuckle beatdown from St. Peter at the pearly gates.