Morons of the Week: Charlie Brown Killa, the Small-Penised Airport Rager, and the Clueless Marijuana Grower

Between the Family Circle-Peanuts rivalry turning deadly, an uninspired fish death, and beatings over diminutive wangs and unbummed butts, Miami was really off its meds this week. The winners:

Somewhere, Linus is plotting his revenge.

Seriously. That's way worse than that thing Lucy used to do with the football.

4. Another nurse shark found dead in the streets of Miami.

The first time a moribund nurse shark was found on the Metromover after being abandoned by crackheads trying to sell it was funny. The story was forwarded around the nation. That shark was a real winner. But you're just... derivative.

3. Homeless dude Sosthene Louis, who allegedly killed a clubgoer by bashing him on the head for not giving him a cigarette.

If the homeless community could just do something about its nutso head-bashing contingent, it could really improve its image.

It's like a frightened turtle.

Our point here is that Negrin, obviously touchy about his manhood, only made his George Costanza-esque shrinkage nationally famous. See, kids: Rage doesn't pay.

1. Martiniano Perez Jr., who opened his door for a cop canvassing an apartment building looking for a burglary suspect.

The officer discovered Perez had a giant marijuana grow operation in his apartment -- and $850,000 cash. Dude, it's called hiding in a bedroom until the guy goes away. We do it to Mormon missionaries and census-takers all the time.