Naked Bike Ride in Miami Protests Gulf Oil Spill

Balls against tar balls.

​If you're like us, the first impulse you had after seeing your first oil-soaked seagull was to rip off your clothes and hop on a bike. This Saturday, you can do just that in the company of strangers at the Miami World Naked Bike Ride to protest our nation's dependence on that gooey, wildlife-killing, black gold.

OK, so the organizers put an asterisk next to the word nudity, encouraging imaginative costumes and well-placed body paint. In other words, bare as much as you dare.

World Naked Bike Ride is an international movement, practiced in cities like Vancouver, British Columbia and Auckland, New Zealand, with the following mission: "We face automobile traffic with our naked bodies as the best way of defending our dignity and exposing the unique dangers faced by cyclists and pedestrians as well as the negative consequences we all face due to dependence on oil, and other forms of non-renewable energy."

Will Miamians have the balls to bare all like these international cities? And will all the exposed balls stop the tar balls from flowing this way? Probably not, but our only other idea is to stop up the leak with Sarah Palin's giant bouffant.

The first ever Miami World Naked Bike Ride happens this Saturday at the sun-friendly time of 4:30 p.m. The ride starts outside a Miami BP gas station at Biscayne and 10th Street, then heads to South Beach via the Venetian Causeway.