Disco Rick's Top Ten Strippers Under 40: Tipdrill, Spyda & Magic, Pinkey, and More

Disco Rick

Rick, Mufasa of South Florida strip joints, with dancer Tipdrill

​Lists. They're arbitrary, subjective, equal parts enraging and traffic-baiting. Every day there's a new top ten gassiest this or best of that. Yet they persist. They're comforting, helping us organize our increasingly chaotic world into digestible bouillon cubes of information. So when The New Yorker published its list of the top 20 writers under 40, we decided to follow suit with our own random rankings, tailored to our surroundings. We give you the top ten pole dancers under 40; they are the Jonathan Franzens of our town, only more respectable.

To come up with the list, we simply asked Disco Rick, the stripper wrangler at King of Diamonds, that titty Valhalla in Miami Gardens, for his own unique, totally biased take. It's not a definitive list, as no list can be, but it tries to capture "the talent sprouting and blooming around us." Uncle Luke, you might want to read up on this. Here's Rick in his own words:

10.

Disco Rick

Pinkey

​Pinkey is the mother of all the black strippers. She was doing it from the early days, at the old Diamonds Cabaret. She used to have an entourage of girls; Trina used to hang with her. In her heyday, she could just spin onstage and people would throw money at her. She retired last year from the club, but johns still come in asking for her.

9. We have as many strippers as we do palm trees, but Nyla stands out. She's a black girl from Japan, and she has all kinds of flexibility because that's I guess what you learn when you're from over there. You'll find her at King of Diamonds and Take One Cocktail Lounge.

8. Tall, slim, and baby-faced, Heaven has the potential to be the next it girl. She can work the pole, and she's got a few cute tricks up her gold lamé g-string, but not much else (ed.: making her the Jonathan Safran Foer of strippers, clearly). She has to shape herself up and grow up a little before she can be the next Tipdrill. You'll find her at King of Diamonds (and Twitter!).

Sarah

Sarah from Tootsie's

​7. Atlanta is a white girl, and she looks like a white girl. Her body is not that well shaped, and she doesn't have an ass. But she doesn't have to shake her ass because she gives a great performance at Tootsie's. She's the main pole dancer there. She's got a gymnast's body, and she can work the ass-high, 20-foot pole (ed.: 20?!). Not a lot of girls can do that. But she's an entertainer climbing those three stories.

6. Sarah is a small white girl from Jacksonville. Not a booty shaker, but she likes the pole. She locks her body outward on the pole, which is very difficult when you're 18 feet up in the air, and then comes down in a split from 20 feet in the air. I call her the little white nerd stripper with glasses. A regular at Tootsie's.