Marlins President: We "Absolutely Never" Lied

​The reaction across the board has been pretty universal after Florida Marlins owner Jeffery Loria and team president David Samson were exposed for lying about the team's finances earlier this week: People are pissed. Miami-Dade County Commissioner Rebecca Sosa has even requested the team give more money than they originally pledged to help build their new stadium. Samson had an opportunity to explain the apparent shenanigans when he appeared on The Dan Le Batard Show on 790 The Ticket yesterday. The interview went about how you'd expect it would.

Asked outright if Samson and Loria lied about the team's finances, Samson replied, "Absolutely never." He also explained that they have nothing to hide, and that the media has interpreted the papers incorrectly. "Loria never put a dime in his pocket," Samson insisted. And added that the money went to "pay off debt to get credit for the new stadium." No matter how you feel about it, you have to appreciate Samson's failed Jedi-mind trick attempt during the interview.

"We have nothing to hide."

"Well, according to these contradicting reports, you do."

"The numbers in these reports are not the real numbers."

"Yes, they are."

"Mr. Loria never put a dime in his pocket."

"Where did all the money go, then?"

"LOOK! A SPIDER MONKEY!"

Eventually, the interview proved to be somewhat fruitless after it ended abruptly because 790 was forced to cut to their Marlins broadcast. Maybe Samson is a Jedi!

If it's true that the team used all the extra cash that they never told anybody about to pay off debts, then why not reveal that from the beginning? "Hey, we made a profit this year and now we need to pay off some debts." See? Not that hard.

And if you're so worried that fans will be upset because they'd rather you spend that extra money on payroll, why not explain the long-term plan? "Yes, we can certainly use this money to sign C.C. Sabathia now. But we'd rather get out of that cavern of a football stadium, get ourselves our own ballpark, and then start spending money on players. We ask that you please bear with us." Again, not that difficult.

But to these guys, apparently it's a better idea to piss off a fanbase by lying to them about their finances than to piss them off by telling them that, yes there's money there, but everybody's just gonna have to wait until the stadium gets here.

It would've been better if Samson just started the interview by saying, "Sorry. No here Samsong." And then parachuted out the window and run into the Everglades.