Pay Your Dues and Taxes, Snipes

445px-Wesley_Snipes_mug_shot.jpg
US Marshals Service
​Wesley Snipes can learn a lot from Martha Stewart. He starts a three-year prison sentence tomorrow in Pennsylvania for tax-related infractions. But rather than accepting his punishment like a man, he bitched to Larry King last night on CNN about how "upset and disappointed that the system seems to not be working for (him)." 

Not even Martha Stewart whined about prison when she was convicted of lying to federal investigators during an insider trading inquiry in 2004. She appeared on the courthouse steps moments after the judge's ruling and addressed the media. "I could do it," she said, "I'm a really good camper. I can sleep on the ground. There are many, many good people who have gone to prison--look at Nelson Mandela."

But Wesley Snipes isn't Nelson Mandela, or Martha Stewart; he's a washed-up actor that made a ton of money starring in mediocre films, and an asshole for not reporting over $30-million in earnings between 1999-2001. 

In 2008, an Ocala, Florida court convicted the actor of three misdemeanor counts of willful failure to file tax returns. Since then, Snipes and his team of lawyers have tirelessly pulled the victim card. 

"Any man would be nervous if his liberty was at stake," he said on Larry King Live. "It does seem to be rather unusual and rather bizarre when you had a prosecutor come into the sentencing and say that this is the biggest tax trial in the history of the IRS," he added, "I think there is a certain amount of selectivity going on here."

Conspiracy or not, Mr. Snipes, paying your taxes is part of living in this country, we're sorry you didn't get the memo. But accept your punishment, watch your back in the shower, and volunteer in the prison library like Andy Dufrain in Shawshank Redemption. You'll be out this pile of shit soon enough.
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