FIU Completely Bans Smoking On Campus

​Students and faculty at Florida International University should expect increased incidents of their colleagues incessantly tapping pencils, drinking inhuman quantities of black coffee, and randomly exploding at them for no apparent reason before sending a text message latter saying, "Sorry about earlier, it's not you, it's you know, trying to quit." That's because FIU has completely and totally banned cigarettes from their campus.

FIU isn't joking around either. There's no designated smoking spots on campus. You can't even smoke in your own car according to The Herald. Once you step foot on FIU property you can't light up. This goes beyond any sort "Hey, smokers please be considerate of others who don't want to inhale second hand smoke" effort and goes straight to "We are going to make you quit if it kills you" territory. Of course, they're offering discounts on patches and support groups and all that jazz but this is pretty draconian.

Sure, everyone knows smoking is just a horribly, nasty habit. Even smokers know that. Especially, one would assume, educated smokers who either attend or work at a university. That doesn't stop people though (nicotine is a bitch), and neither will smoking bans, and they'll probably migrate en masse between classes across the street to puff away. Though, if the ban does have any good hopefully it will prevent students who don't already smoke from picking up the habit.

Plus, we imagine there are substances far worse that are commonly used on campus by FIU students. Smoking is just the easiest to target because generally its hard to smoke inconspicuously. Sadly, we wonder if the ban will hurt students chances of succeeding in the smoke-filled industries of crazy downtown beat poetry, ballet, French studies, and professional blogging.

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