How Does Mayor Luther Campbell Sound To You?

Categories: Luke's Gospel
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Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. In this special edition, Luke contemplates being county mayor now that the recall election against Carlos Alvarez is set.

If Carlos Alvarez gets recalled, I will seriously think about running for Miami-Dade County mayor. And should I win, I would make everyday I am in office a reality show. Everyday, Miami-Dade residents will have transparency in the mayor's office.

Cameras are going to capture when some lobbyist comes to see me to lobby me on some shit they want approved. The cameras are going to be rolling when a commissioner meets with me when I want to talk about the things we need to build for this community. The voters are going to know who is full of shit and who isn't if I am elected mayor.

On the campaign trail, people are going to learn about the more mature Luther Campbell, the grown man who is working for the kids in the inner city and who is dropping knowledge every week with his own column in the New Times. With Rick Scott winning the governor's seat, I don't see how I could lose. I've been a successful businessman in this community for years. I was born and raised in Miami-Dade. No one can question the love I have for my home county.

I feel it's time to clean this shit up. Our community has been divided for too long. If there is one person who can unite voters from every nationality in Miami-Dade, it is Uncle Luke. I can relate to young and old people from Haiti, Cuba, Nicaragua, and even Israel. We need to start thinking about the future of Miami-Dade. We've need to change the status quo. Nothing is getting done.

We still lead the nation in foreclosures and property taxes continue to go up. Communities are being torn down and not getting rebuilt. All we are doing is building stadiums.

And if I decide I will get into politics, I have no problem addressing the many controversies that have been a part of my life. I will have no problem answering questions about the negative side of my life. I look forward to my opponents digging up every wrong thing I have done.

So let's bring it.

Follow Luke on Twitter at: @unclelukereal1.

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.
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14 comments
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Paul R
Paul R

I don't know why this guy isn't in prison. He's spent his entire life being vile and disgusting. Anyone who would vote for him should be investigated since only the scum of the earth want him as anything but a convict.

sotomama71
sotomama71

I would take Luthur Campbell over Mayor Alvarez. Alvarez needs to go. Vote him out Tuesday March 15

Urbanms
Urbanms

If Arnold Schwartzenegger can get elected in Cali, why couldn't LC win an election in Miami.

Bash Bros
Bash Bros

I'm all in. Let's get the young people involved...18 and older. We could see a surge in Young voters and get them interested in voting with Luke on the ticket.... Just like Obama did. Central Alumni might just swing the vote in your favor with you helping to bring the 'Ship to the school. I'm all in. #leggo #luke4mayor

Sadelanghorne
Sadelanghorne

PLEASE DO IT. JUST DO IT. WHAT HAVE WE ALL GOT TO LOSE AT THIS POINT! PEOPLE ARE SO DISGUSTED THEY HAVE BECOME APATHETIC AND DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON ANYMORE!

Vj
Vj

My first reaction is, OH NO! However, on second thought, what the hey, this county has been made a joke by the so-called career politicos, prove yourself worthy, and my vote is yours.

Justus
Justus

He's a vulgar Butt-Hole!!!

That Girl
That Girl

caling him a butthole is vulgar!

Kevin C.
Kevin C.

Why would your campaign be conditional of Alvarez being recalled? Even if her survives a recall vote, he will be out of office next year as his term ends then and he is term-limited.

Rob Meschino
Rob Meschino

born and raised in the county of dade! get it luke!

P_Nis
P_Nis

Sounds just as plausible as "Mayor Regalado" did a decade ago. Who would have thought???

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