LeBron James Decides Heat's Nickname is "The Heatles," Unfortunately

Categories: Sports
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Back when LeBron James and Chris Bosh joined Dwyane Wade down here in Miami there was a mini-obsession with finding the perfect nickname for them. There was talks of Miami Thrice, MV3, the James Gang, and even three-headed shitstorm. Though, we never really settled on anything, did we? Well, the King has spoken and the Heat will now be known as "The Heatles."

"I see we sell out 99.1 percent on the road, so we call ourselves the Heatles off the Beatles, so every time we take our show on the road we bring a great crowd,'' James said at a press conference.

When asked who was Lennon and who was McCartney, James replied, "`I knew that was going to be a question ...We're just the Heatles, man."

For the record, I think it's pretty obvious Wade is Lennon, James is McCartney, Udonis Haslem is George Harrison, Chris Bosh is Ringo, and Erik Spoelstra is Yoko Ono.

Anyway, the Heatles? Really? How punny. How slightly arrogant. How middle-aged white guy. We're still partial to the Onion's suggestion of Category 3 Hurricane Fuckface.

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4 comments
Venom240
Venom240

Wowwwwwww who ever wrote this sounds like a true bitch..I guess your tryna play the fat dork no life with glasses that shot lennon huh ....WWW.1man-army.com

Vic
Vic

cat 3 hurricane fuckface is awesome

DVM5
DVM5

It is amazing how far you folks in the media take jokes. The comment deserves a laugh, not a full analysis. Your not alone by the way. I read something similar from the Heat Stroke Blog on CBSSPORTS.com... Anyways, since you mentioned it, no way Wade is Lennon, and James is McCartney. Check out the Heat Stroke Blog, and their rational. I have to agree with them.

Spolestra as Yoko, really... Because he is part Philipino (therefore, part Asian), and Yoko is Asian? I mean, come on man!

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