Jorge Mario Aguirre Provides a New Contender For Miami's Craziest Mugshot

Categories: Crime, Flotsam
aguirre.jpg
In November, Riptide introduced the world to the man known by cops as "Half a Head" because he was missing the entire front of his cranium. Yeah, that was a crazy mugshot, perhaps never to be topped.

But wait. Let's all take a long look at this dude's face.

Jorge Mario Aguirre, 24, was driving around on August 20 when a cop pulled him over for having overly tinted windows. The officer allegedly found half a bar of Xanax in his car. The charges were eventually dropped, but the mug shot survived. We tried to contact Aguirre to ask him about his ink but he's a very hard man to track down. Let's take a closer look:

aguirre.jpg

Okay, so he's got the title of an obscure Robert Downey, Jr. film where his eyebrows should be, a Ricky Martin song for a moustache, and an area code for a goatee. Then there's an oil tower (?) for a nose, the rest of his face is covered in what look like gangsta versions of those tiny little puffy stickers of unicorns and pots of gold our sister used to put on our bunkbed, and his torso and arms are scrawled with random slogans and doodles. His skin resembles the high school notebook of a kid with artistic talent and a critically severe case of ADD.

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We've been staring at Aguirre's face for the last two hours and we've finally, after much deliberation, decided: We kind of like what he did with the place. It might turn off potential employers and probably frighten abuelas. But it is definitely, without a doubt, Miami embodied.

(Those of you who are wondering why we didn't just throw Aguirre's mug in with tomorrow's Mugshot Fridays: He was arrested too long ago. There are rules in this thing of ours. And besides, he earned his own post.)

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10 comments
Timmy
Timmy

Take that society,I have tattoos and theres nothing you can do about it!!!!

Timmy
Timmy

Remember when guys like this were at your local traveling carnival,locked in cages and bit the heads off of chickens? I think they called the geeks.

JonBlack
JonBlack

'stickers of unicorns and pots of gold our sister used to put on our bunkbed'  incredible write up here folks

codperfumes
codperfumes

hes def a wanna be.. must hate his self and how he looks. what makes someone scribble scrabble all over their face and body like a scrap book… and write nothing original, all bullshit to make one seem cool.

Ashleymejia55
Ashleymejia55

Omg that my uncle he showed this to me today

Nis
Nis

or maybe he is autistic and find all his tatoos to be nice looking but I will tell you he will not only scare abuelas away but just about anyone maybe he can get a job at horror nights he may get paid well you never know.

Nis
Nis

bro he looks wild and rather dumb cheap tatoos look prison made and he is only 24 gee wizzzzzzzzzzzzz.

5446thatsmynumber
5446thatsmynumber

Thats not an oil tower. It's a spider web. awesome post. When you gonna start running these in print

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