The 10 Sexiest Miamians

Categories: Flotsam
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Tipdrill
When people think Miami, the first thing that pops into their mind's eyes is boobs. Big, beach ball boobs.

But we're so much more than that. We are also crazy-huge booties and rock hard six-pack abs. We are tans the color of Key Biscayne sunsets and weird Barbie hair that breaks apart if you touch it. We are Gloria Estefan.

However, Gloria Estefan is not sexy -- enough to make this list, anyhow. We now bring you the authoritative, scientifically-proven list of the ten hottest Miamians we ever thought of in eight minutes.

10. Snooki
Hey-- we heard that collective groan. But come on, she's Snooki, the ultimate honorary Miamian. She's forever glowing orange like a camping flashlight you don't have to shake. She is the very definition of DTF.

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9. Juanes
You didn't think we were just going to list women, did you? Just look into this dude's steamy eyes and tell me you're not imagining riding Palominos up some Colombian mountainside with him and ravenously eating pomegranates beside a cool stream. He's like Scott Stapp, but with twelve chest hairs and none of that unattractive Caucasian angst.

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8. Miss Hialeah
Did you even know that there was a Miss Hialeah, and that this is her Facebook photo? Neither did we, but we're going to Google Danaily Belaunzaran more often.

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7. Eva Mendes
Wikipedia tells us she's a Miami Cuban who aspired to be a nun. We tell Wikipedia that we're glad that didn't happen.

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6. Elian Gonzalez
He's so hot he set off an international firestorm. And in just eleven months, ladies/dictators, he's legal!

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19 comments
Kcee
Kcee

lmao sluts and homos is right with trendy shirts and sluts with skirts to show off their decaying vagina.

JustFeeFee
JustFeeFee

Hahaa! Miss Hialeah - you mean Miss Chola.It's sad enough being 24 and having ambitions of being a pagent queen but this just puts the cherry on top. Hottest miamians? Pfft, being on any list with Elian Gonzales is most definately not a good thing! This is GARBAGE! *barf*

Jon
Jon

Sluts and homos!

Jon
Jon

Sluts!

Spider74
Spider74

Tipdrill??? What that heck is that thing? She's more like BuzzKill to me.

Cobra
Cobra

Sherene Sandoval before her botox injection should have been on the list.

BottomTen
BottomTen

Marco Rubio's Wife wears a strap-on, rides him hard, and puts him away wet! When he’s not sucking, err, sitting on Uncle Jeb’s lap. 8o|

Jupiterjones
Jupiterjones

This is the list of hottest Miamians? Get outta here!! First of all you pick a wannabe italian little runt who spent 1 month here and put her on the list? (snooki is chilean, she was adopted by italians) and the rest of the list doesnt even make any sense..just flat out wrong.

kenny
kenny

Are you serious? This is crap.

Actually born in Miami
Actually born in Miami

Half these ppl don't live here half the time or there aren't really from here. Except for Miss Hialeah and Tipdrill, this list is shit. Why didn't you just take a camera and step outside?

Mi14
Mi14

You Forgot Jamie Ruiz. Former Heat Dancer. Now PCD Doll

Namorata
Namorata

This list is a joke right?

Thefreakinsideyou
Thefreakinsideyou

Yes u picked some atractive people but over all this is a crap list. Miami has far hotter people than this sad list.

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