Heat Blow 15-Point Lead, Lose to the Knicks

Categories: Sports
Anthony James.jpg
The Miami Heat blew a 15-point lead and lost 91-86 to the New York Knicks last night, thus making local sports talk radio even douchier than normal for at least another week.

The loss continues a troubling trend of not being able to beat playoff contending teams, or even win a big game in the closing seconds. Also, the Heat continue to not be Mario Chalmers-free, which is the worst crime of all.

Chalmers finished the night with 7 points (seven!), going 2-for-7 from the field and doing that thing he does where he craps all over himself whenever he has the basketball.

The turning point came late in the second quarter, when it seemed as if Miami would cruise to victory. Miami held a 51- 36 lead with 4:25 left to play before the half. And then decided to just stop playing basketball.

The Knicks went on an unheard of 16-0 run while the Heat committed three consecutive turnovers and failed to score a single point as the half expired. New York went into the half with a 52-51 lead.

Miami managed to pull a three-point shot out their asses, when Mike Miller's trey gave the Heat a 66-60 lead with 3:30 remaining. But because no lead is ever safe with this team, New York managed to once again crawl back into it. Miami's lead melted away, and Knicks point guard Chauncey Billups hit a three-point shot with 1:01 remaining. So, that's what it must feel like to have a point guard who doesn't slam your team's balls in a waffle iron with his incompetence.

Miami had a chance to win it with 12 seconds left, but LeBron James' layup attempt was blocked by Amare Stoudemire. New York grabbed the rebound and the victory while Spike Lee celebrated on the sidelines. Also, Spike Lee is a dipshit.

  • It's becoming clear that LeBron James should not be taking the last shot in games. No, we're not saying he's not clutch (because anyone who says that is a dipshit). It's just that Dwayne Wade seems to be more efficient in that department, and we've yet to see him attempt a game-winning shot 60 games into the season. We have no statistical data to back this up. We're just sick and fucking tired of seeing LeBron's shots clang off the backboard so miserably at the end of games.
  • Wade finished the night with 12 points on 5-for-15 shooting.
  • Chris Bosh had a solid 20-point night, which magnifies just how bad the rest of this team is.
  • 15-total points for the Heat bench. The Heat bench's ineptitude -- not LeBron's lack of clutchness -- will be this teams undoing.
  • Mike Bibby and Troy Murphy could be members of the Heat by week's end? SWEET BABY JESUS, YES PLEASE. Don't be a dipshit, Baby Jesus.

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2 comments
Jon
Jon

Chris, you should compare your last article from the Heat's loss to the Knicks a few weeks ago. Definitely worth a look.

Afadfgsags
Afadfgsags

obviously if you decide to bring together 3 overpaid overrated superstars together you cant afford to pay decent role players. and thus foolish miami won't make it past round 2 of playoffs, maybe not even round 1.

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