Miami Could Be The First Wave In A Stripper Tsunami

Categories: Luke's Gospel
lukesgospel.jpg
Alex Izaguirre
Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke -- who is a candidate to replace more-boring-than-bread-pudding Miami-Dade Mayor Carlos Alvarez -- explains his plan to tax strippers for the public good.

On the campaign trail, voters and radio show hosts have been telling me that exotic dancers are not going to like me. They aren't going to vote for Luther Campbell because of my proposal to tax them. That is just flat wrong. Strippers love Luke. Pretty soon, now that voters have booted Carlos Alvarez, everyone is going to cast their ballots for yours truly.

When I move into that big office in county hall, I'm not going to repeat Texas's mistakes back in 2007. There, state legislators approved a $5 tax for each customer who entered a strip club. A Texas judge and a state appeals court struck down that law as unconstitutional.

So, fellas, relax. It's not gonna cost you more to get a lap dance -- unless a stripper is running game on you.

What I'm proposing is actually done in other major metropolitan areas. Take Atlanta. The city charges exotic dancers $350 for a permit to perform. In Houston, the city just raised its license fee for a new "gentlemen's club" dancer from $60 to $250. In some cities, these licenses have produced millions of dollars in annual revenue. And considering the hole that Alvarez dug for us, this could be a big plus.

Local police conduct background checks on female entertainers. That's a good thing. If a stripper makes five or even six figures a year -- and some do -- a few hundred bucks to register with the state like a real estate agent or a nurse is a wise investment. For one, cities could keep underage girls out of the industry. For another, they could actually take care of their people.

Miami could be the first wave in a stripper tsunami. Exotic dancers from across the nation come here to get naked. We have more strip clubs than anywhere in the United States. We're home to the two largest strip clubs in the country -- Tootsie's Cabaret and King of Diamonds -- where P. Diddy and Rick Ross recently made $1 million rain on the dancers.

And just to make sure folks don't say I'm discriminating against women, I'm proposing male strippers pay for licenses too. In the end, the money would be used for much-needed services such as child care and after-school programs to help single moms -- and single dads -- raise their kids right.

Follow Luke on Twitter: @unclelukereal1.

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11 comments
Real_blackman81
Real_blackman81

i truly enjoy watching you make an ass out of yourself. you and your dumbass self are quite entertaining. btw, why dont you post what part of miami you live in you filthy fraud., and where your spoiled rotten kids went to school. luke, you are such a pointdexter....lol

Carmen
Carmen

Really- is this an article by someone running for public office or an early Aprils fool joke? To say an enetrtainer in one sentence and then relegate them to strippers in the following sentences shows no respect. What you want to charge will simply take another profession and place it on the unemployment line as many in Atlanta have already experienced- or perhaps they can dance ony our lap and you will take the permit fee at that time without a penalty? What an uneducated article you published- shame on you!

Guest
Guest

How is he gonna tax dancers when they already get taxed by the clubs(i,e...house fees, D.J. late fines etc.,), and for someone like him who womanizes should not run for mayor PERIOD!!!!

SANTINO LEE
SANTINO LEE

That sounds good and all,but the reality is most strippers who make money travel,and for them to pay a lic fee to the city,then pay a house fee,and tip out,thats over taxing them,also tooties,and KOD are not the biggest strip club in the country,or the world ,that title is held in las vegas,...speaking about las vegas that is a city where the strippers already have to rerister with police,and pay a lic fee to dance there,but look at the clubs ,and there clients,...here in miami,the different's in clubs like solid gold,tooties,these have been gentlemen's clubs for years,and if you compare it to the black strip clubs,where the girls on average makes $100-$150 a shift,it would benefit them that much,most dancers have state issue id,and with this economy as it is now,to tax them now would not be a good idea.TAX THE BUSINESSES THAT REALLY NEEDS TO BE TAXED,NOT THE STRIPPERS,THAT ARE STRUGGLING IN THE ECONOMY TODAY.

THANK YOU,...

Angelo Maimone
Angelo Maimone

This isn't a video moron! Most dancers that just dance barely make 700/week and that may sound like a lot, but factor in that they have kids and childcare is outrageous now. Gas, and don't forget that they are selling their dignity! Yes many make 6 figures, but most of those have pimps and the ones that don't aren't enough to be considered the norm! Get a new agenda before your music starts getting banned in clubs! Oh, and i am a very big fan of yours, but come on son...

NOROBAINA
NOROBAINA

I have heard that Luke lives next to one of the owners of the illegal gambling machines that can be found throught the City of Miami and Hialeah. Pit Bull was givent the Key to the City of Miami by Regalado, and Luke is his producer. There is a tie there. Also, the only reason Luke is running is to keep the african american vote from going to Julio Robaina's competition. He is a Robaina plant, with no serious ideas to better this community. Mr. Campbell, you should be ashammed of yourself.

PussyAintWorthThat
PussyAintWorthThat

The costs of police enforcement, reduced property value in surrounding areas and crime associated with strip clubs outweighs the $ they bring in in taxes.

It boggles the mind that Take One Lounge is still open. The owner was killed and that was an episode of the 'First 48' tv show. Then some other gun fight went down a year ago. The cops stake it out for criminals putting guns back in their cars, prostitutes hang all around it. Shut the damn place down.

KingChiefGator
KingChiefGator

I like the idea when you put it up against how other cities I did it, but CMON MAN (c) Tom Jackson. How much money is this going to generate? The county operates on a 7.5 billion budget....you want to win this election? Be YOU, but drop the gimmicks and broaden your platform bc the other 3 candidates have been blessed by King Braman and he owns the media.

Carmen
Carmen

Really if you went to a true club you would know the expenses they place into protetions and security are more than your mortgage- even if you live in a mansion- don't stereotype and think about being more receptive to different people and different choices.....

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