OMFG!!! Justin Bieber's Hair Makes Fundraising Appearance in Miami Beach

Categories: The Z List
Justin_Bieber_hair.jpg
Michael E. Miller
No Bieber's were harmed in the making of this photo.
When Justin Bieber made the momentous decision to allow someone to cut off his famous locks, MTV called it "the haircut heard 'round the world."

So Riptide wasn't surprised when we heard that the precious pelo had sold for $40,668 in a charity auction. We were, however, higher than Kathy Griffith on an eight ball of Charlie Sheen when we discovered that a tuft of Bieber fever was headed to Miami Beach.

Long story short, we headed to Lucky Strike last night to check it out. The horror! The horror! Here's what we found.

Our first observation: Divorced of its dreamy Canadian pop star context, the $40K filaments look like... umm... pubic hair. Sorry, but they do. There's no skirting that fact.

Expensive pubes, for sure. Encased in a plastic cube with the signatures of Bieber and Ellen DeGeneres (the original recipient of the hairball) on three sides, there was no mistaking this mini mop for the crap that collects under your bed when you don't vacuum.

Well-guarded pubes, no doubt about it. Three hulking pube-sentinels stood at attention, as if some evil genius was about to steal the Biebz's DNA and clone an army of pastey white pro-lifers. In fact, that was the worst fear of Jonathan Sharvit, managing director of the Stone Rose, the Miami-based men's clothing company hosting the fundraising event.

"The last thing you want is to see someone running down Lincoln Road with Justin Bieber's hair," he said, explaining the security guards.

But where were the throngs of tweenagers we expected?

Justin_Bieber_hair_close.jpg
Michael E. Miller
Justin Bieber's hair: worth more than its weight in gold.
Sharvit explained that about 120 people -- nearly all girls -- showed up to have their photos taken with the superstar's split ends. Riptide had arrived at the tailend of the event, but one valiant Bieber fan remained: 10-year-old Sara Saiovici. Dressed in a black Bieber shirt and sporting a pink "Baby, Baby, Baby" wristband that she had bought when the singer came to American Airlines Arena this winter, Sara had found her happy place.

"It's awesome," she said of the event, showing us her photo with the life-size Bieber cut-out and hair cube. "He's awesome. Everything about him is awesome."

If Bieber's recent, right-leaning revelations had upset her, Sara didn't show it. Nor did Sharvit attribute the mild turnout to the pop singer's controversial quotes about abortion and pre-marital sex.

"Honestly, I don't think those girls care what he thinks about abortion," he said. "In fact, they probably agree with him since most of them want to have his baby."

At first, Sharvit said he wasn't sure where the Bieber clippings would go when the event ended. But eventually he opened up about the famous follicles' next stop.

"I'm the one taking them out of here," he said: $40,000 in a cardboard box. "I've got to keep them safe." And no, he said, he wouldn't open the cube, or smell it, or try to make sweet love to it. So stop asking.

A block away, Bieber's fellow Canadian performer Vlad Shvartsman -- known as "Mellow Cello" --  played Bach's Prelude to Suite No. 1 to passersby on Lincoln Road. His tip cup couldn't have contained more than $5.

"Is that what all the yelling was about?" he asked when informed of the Bieber fundraiser. "I don't listen to any of his songs. I'm not really tuned into the pop scene," admitted Shvartsman, who trained behind the Iron Curtain at the Moscow Conservatory before moving to Montreal.

"Apparently, he's a talented musician," he said, as if willing himself to believe. "He's got to have something special, otherwise there would be a million of him."

Riiight. Does that mean Shvartsman would be willing to add "Baby, Baby, Baby" to his repetoire to drum up more tips?

"No way am I learning any Bieber," he said. "I'm not not going to be a slave to what people want to hear."
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4 comments
Jenica Fiorentino
Jenica Fiorentino

Wow, an event for Justin Bieber's famous hair? His hairstyle has gone a long way in the world and thousands of young boys really dug it. How old is Shvartsman? Maybe he could try playing "Baby" using his cello. LOL! But seriously, it's nice to hear that some people still want to be different these days.

Chris Headley
Chris Headley

Have you seen Bieber's new line of scented jewelry? Now you can smell like a prepubescent girl-boy too! It's kind of genius though....check it out @imeanwhat http://bit.ly/fjUNN0

Chris Headley
Chris Headley

Have you seen Bieber's new line of scented jewelry? Now you can smell like a prepubescent girl-boy too! It's kind of genius though....check it out @imeanwhat http://bit.ly/fjUNN0

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