This Week in Coke, Castro, and LeBron: DC Kids Heart Coke, James Scores 43

COCAINE:

• Big Bust of the Week: Three tons of cocaine, seized by a French warship off of Costa Rica.
• Four Washington, DC elementary students were hospitalized after ingesting cocaine brought to school by a classmate.
• A Marathon schoolteacher was caught trying to buy crack rocks.
• BREAKING: Rapper who only raps about selling cocaine makes song about how he misses selling cocaine, and it's good.

CASTRO:

• Current estimated level of death: 68% (down)
• Fidel resigned as Communist party leader five years ago, he non-chalantly mentioned this week.
• Gerardo Hernandez, convicted of being a Castro agent in the Cuban Five, says he totally didn't know that planes belonging to a pro-exile group were going to be shot down that day 15 years ago.

LEBRON:

• Heat record for the week and LeBron PPG: 3-0, 31.5 (He dropped in 43 against the Hawks.)
• The world hates him less.
• He danced.
• He runs on the balls of his feet, which means he will be able to play until he's 57.