This Week in Coke, Castro, and LeBron: DC Kids Heart Coke, James Scores 43
TWCCL is a weekly installment bringing you all the news you need on the three issues that matter most to Miamians.
- Big Bust of the Week: Three tons of cocaine, seized by a French warship off of Costa Rica.
- Four Washington, DC elementary students were hospitalized after ingesting cocaine brought to school by a classmate.
- A Marathon schoolteacher was caught trying to buy crack rocks.
- BREAKING: Rapper who only raps about selling cocaine makes song about how he misses selling cocaine, and it's good.
- Current estimated level of death: 68% (down)
- Fidel resigned as Communist party leader five years ago, he non-chalantly mentioned this week.
- Gerardo Hernandez, convicted of being a Castro agent in the Cuban Five, says he totally didn't know that planes belonging to a pro-exile group were going to be shot down that day 15 years ago.
- Heat record for the week and LeBron PPG: 3-0, 31.5 (He dropped in 43 against the Hawks.)
- The world hates him less.
- He danced.
- He runs on the balls of his feet, which means he will be able to play until he's 57.