The Daily Cramp: Can Miami Investment Bankers Make Million$ Teaching Men About Menstruation?

Categories: Flotsam
The Daily Cramp.JPG
courtesy of The Daily Cramp
The newsletter promises men it can "make sense of their chick's crazy cycle."
You can't spell success without PMS.

At least that's the logic of a pair of Miami investment bankers and a tech guy from Texas. The decidedly estrogen-free trio has created a free email newsletter that notifies men of what's happening with their woman's menstrual cycle. They call it, of course, The Daily Cramp.

Keep on reading for samples of the vulgar, tampon-themed, "male-oriented humor" you, too, can receive every morning.

Jon Hilley, the Cramp's 29-year-old creator, says he came up with the idea while talking to his girlfriend about her "hormone schedule." The former Goldman Sachs employee had never heard of such a thing.

Thumbnail image for DailyCrampBear3.JPG
courtesy of The Daily Cramp
What it looks like when your lady is in the "sexy" zone.
"Guys think women just have a period once a month and bleed," Hilley says. "But the chemicals in their bodies are constantly changing, that's why their emotions change."

So he decided to create an email update that would let men know what mood their missus had in store for them that day.

It's simple. Enter your email address, your wife or girlfriend's name, and the last time she had her period and -- voila! -- you now have a master's degree in menstruation.

"It's 1 part science, 1 part Dear Abby, and all parts funny," the website says.

Well, they got the Dear Abby part right, at least.

Here's an example of The Daily Cramp, which went live this morning:
Today's status: still bleeding. In fact, a tidal wave of dark red and watery brown river water is flowing out of me right now. What? Too much information? Isn't this why you signed up for The Daily Cramp: to know my flow? Well get used to it. This is the way of my biological world, weenie.

Considering the torrential downpour I'm experiencing, I probably won't shave. Not my legs. Not my underarms. Not my hoo-ha. Nothing. I'm going to go au naturale and bring it back to the stone age. And you've got nothing to say about it, so you can just clamp your loud mouth shut. It's not like you deserve any awards for self-grooming.

The Daily Cramp: Your path to a no strings attached BJ begins and ends with sympathy. Be nice, be sympathetic, and be down with the fur on my leg. If you don't, you'll blow your chances (pun intended).
Classy.

DailyCrampBear1.JPG
courtesy of The Daily Cramp
PMS brought to you by the illustrators at The Daily Cramp
Hilley says the newsletter may be vulgar but doesn't insult women. "We want to be right on the edge without going over."

But why risk the wrath of feminists - or humans with good taste for that matter - to tell men about a topic most would rather pretend didn't exist?

Apparently there's a fortune in it.

"Email newsletters aren't a sexy business but they can literally print money for the people who start them," Hilley says. After studying other successful newsletters like Thrillist, he projects The Daily Cramp can generate a whopping $77 million in advertising sales in just three years. "We're banking on a viral effect," he says.

Yet even Hilley has doubts. "Will this turn into something that people want to get every day?" he wonders.

Bloody good question.

Daily Cramp Map.JPG
courtesy of The Daily Cramp
The Daily Cramp plots out your lady's cycle so you know when not to be your usual, asshole self.
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21 comments
ZooCreeper
ZooCreeper

How insulting to both men and women. Men aren't dumb victims of crazy lady emotions. It seems weird to me that you'd need to pay money for some app that may be inaccurate when you could just ask your partner.

Jeff K
Jeff K

Hilarious, great way to start the morning!

Wasique007
Wasique007

Waow ...Seems really interesting idea..Best of LUCk

Heru Djalal
Heru Djalal

Wow.. I really need this site.. cool

Maricarsuniga
Maricarsuniga

This site is really one of a kind. Its brilliant! Very unique. I have to share it to my friends and specially to my husband......:) Its a big help for couples...I love the idea. Try it out guys to see what i mean.

Nadine1117
Nadine1117

This is awesome finally a how to guide for men to not piss off your significant other during the PMS crisis....Champagne toast to Hiley and his brilliant girlfriend!

wyl
wyl

Master's Degree in Menstruation! Every guy I know should enroll in this! That would be a hit for God's sake!

JJ
JJ

What a load of sexist ignorant BS - the assumption that all women are hormonal messes and that men should be 'warned' is disgusting, what's worse is that many women find this mockery and ignorance of their bodies funny.

They're not the only ones to do this though, there are iphone apps that offer a similar service. What about Optimised Women newsletters or apps that show when women in their lives are going to be more mentally on-the-ball or emotionally stable due to hormonal changes, or that educate men about the menstrual cycle so they can understand, or help men track their partners fertility to help prevent unwanted pregnancy.

No, instead men are choosing to produce newsletters and apps that mock women and their menstrual cycles, all for the sake of their childish entertainment. It's pretty damn sad.

Bijan Himself
Bijan Himself

Haha! Looks absolutely awesome. Best of luck dudes!

Tvensel
Tvensel

Love the idea! Hope it goes viral!!!

Whitney
Whitney

FINALLYYYY!!! A man who gets it and is ready to share it with the rest of his fellow men. I'm signing my boyfriend up right away. He NEEDS to know that I'm not the only one!

Ashley81
Ashley81

I think it's a great idea and I'm not offended at all. My boyfriend acts shocked every month...It's like he missed that day of Sex Ed.

TheDailyCramp
TheDailyCramp

This is a great post... thanks Mike. It's just like some jack@ss Goldman guy to make ridiculous projections like that... pretty soon, him and his awful Crazy Bear are going to take the entire newsletter world down with him, just like he did the financials.

arr
arr

you get really crazy when you're pmsing dont you...

TheDailyCramp
TheDailyCramp

Hi JJ - The newsletter aims to entertain men while also educating them on being better & more understanding partners to the ladies in their lives. We figured the best way to accomplish this was through male-oriented humor while still taking care not to oversimplify/stereotype women.

P.S. A woman runs the editing department, so it's not just men here.

Ashley81
Ashley81

It looks like the sexy bear cycle tracks fertility and ovulation pretty accurately. At the end of the day the science is solid and it can be used as a tool for good or evil. I think it's brilliant.

TheDailyNut
TheDailyNut

As long as more people in Miami are rich, the world will be a better place. Just kidding, I hope Hilley eats his shirt and is forced to become a freelance mentor for aspiring college kids. I heard about an idea this weekend called FruitFoo which blows this one out of the water. Even though this _IS_ a good idea. Just look at what this group has done spamming the hell out of people with newsletters: http://www.google.com/finance?...

Kayo's DCJ Flow Forum
Kayo's DCJ Flow Forum

I think it's funny, and maybe gets a dialog going. And that's a good thing. Not everyone needs this, or wants it. But anything that gets the topic out in the open, so couples can be adult about it instead of smirking and blushing and hiding... I'm all for it.

claude le monde
claude le monde

Please tell me "a woman runs the editing department...here" doesn't in fact mean "My wife proofreads the letter."

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