Casinos, Pot, And Fun: The Key To New Jobs In Miami-Dade

Categories: Luke's Gospel
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Uncle Luke, the man whose booty-shaking madness once made the U.S. Supreme Court stand up for free speech, gets as nasty as he wants to be for Miami New Times. This week, Luke -- who is a candidate for Miami-Dade mayor -- lays out his vision for kick-starting the local economy.

It's time for Miami-Dade to play to its greatest strengths -- beautiful people, beautiful beaches, and beautiful weather. Here's what I would do:

• Open casinos in Miami Beach hotels. Hey, the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino in Hollywood is among the top-grossing gambling joints in the United States. So why not put more card games and slot machines in places that entertain our tourists?

• Allow medical marijuana dispensaries. We're missing out on a major growth industry. In March, Los Angeles voters approved a tax on pot distributors that is expected to generate $10 million a year to help pay for police, libraries, and street repairs.

• Create a water theme park near Miami Marine Stadium. I'd get Universal Studios or Disney to partner with the county to build one. And I'd make Virginia Key, which was once the only place black people were allowed to swim, a national landmark.

• Build movie studios. The Borscht Film Festival's success shows we have what it takes to compete with Atlanta to become the Hollywood of the South.

• Make Calle Ocho, Goombay, and other big ethnic festivals in Miami-Dade weeklong celebrations. I'd also redevelop Little Havana, Little Haiti, Overtown, Allapattah and all of our diverse neighborhoods to enhance their character so we have a Bourbon Street in every part of the county.

• Bring in the NBA All-Star Game, the NCAA Basketball Tournament, and traditional black college rivalry games.

Each one of my ideas plays off having fun under the sun. Miami-Dade's unemployment rate dropped to 12 percent this past March because tourism is picking up. Gambling is a natural here. It's already bringing thousands of people to the old Flagler Dog Track, Gulfstream Park, and Calder. Back in the '20s, Miami was the American gambling mecca.

In fact, between the casinos, the theme park, the movie studios, and the dispensaries, we can create at least 20,000 jobs and $100 million in new tax revenue. Considering the hole that Carlos Alvarez and his friends dug for us, this is critical if we, the beautiful people of Miami-Dade, plan to keep using our beautiful beaches and enjoying our beautiful weather.

Follow Luke on Twitter at: @unclelukereal1.

Follow Miami New Times on Facebook and Twitter @MiamiNewTimes.
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8 comments
Matthew Earl
Matthew Earl

Get rid of police chief Miguel Exposito. That solves almost half of Miami's problems.

Gffg
Gffg

Luke was inundated by marijuana smoke when he wrote this idiotic proposal.

mrmiami
mrmiami

The guy is the man, I completely agree on what he stands for what he wants to do with Miami. Name one reason why Miami doesn’t have a water theme park? Look at the 14 other states that have decriminalized Marijuana and look at how much revenue that these dispensaries are bringing to each state. California as an example 3 million! Gambling in Miami has gone on for years and nothing will change allowing people to gamble with finally get the underground bookies out of Miami and allowed big business to capitalized and pay taxes per year. In conclusion Miami needs more jobs everyone of these three topics brings thousands of Jobs.

Smaabs
Smaabs

We should also build a spaceport for aliens to land and use our resources.

Linxadvisory
Linxadvisory

We need a casino/convention center in downtown Miami. The gaping hole where the old arena is and the barren areas around the PAC could eaily accomodate it!

DrMiami
DrMiami

All seem like good ways of generating cash for the city & jobs for the peeps. We need a change & I like the way Uncle Luke is thinking.

Matthew Earl
Matthew Earl

Now why would anyone do that? Maybe thats your idea if you were mayor?

Dayna Torres
Dayna Torres

You could prescribe me a little of whatever you're smoking?

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