|Because this is the NBA and we do a lot of screaming around here!|
Which team will win the Eastern Conference Finals won't come down to how great the Miami Heat's big three perform or how wonderfully efficient the Chicago Bulls' bench mob execute their tenacious defensive and rebounding skills. No this contest is going to come down to which team has the most operatic hollerer. Forget Eddie House pretending his nuts hang low like Donkey Kong's or Dallas Maverick Jason Terry's annoying "I'm soaring like an aeroplane" move. When it comes to extremely unnecessary show boating, nothing comes close to the NBA's perennial screamers.
We'd like to know when dunking a basketball became the equivalent of standing guard at the gates of Thermopylae against one million of Xerxes Persian soldiers? Yet the louder a player yells, the more likely his team is to show more hustle and moxie. If that is the case, then we're sorry Heat fans, but it doesn't look good. Miami has only one player worthy enough of being part of the NBA's screaming starting five, while Chicago has three:1. Chris Bosh
, AKA the Bostich, is the only Heat player who knows how to give us a great O-Face.2. Taj Gibson
, AKA Baraka from Mortal Kombat. When this dude dunked all over Heat Guard Dwayne Wade in Game 1, we were waiting for the scoreboard at the United Center to flash "FINISH HIM!"