No, Florida's Bestiality Law Will Not Outlaw Human Sex

Categories: Politicks
floridasexlegal.jpg
Actually, sex in Miami remains fully legal.
On a slow news day the blogosphere will take anything they can get, and a post on a pretty obscure blog wondered if Florida's anti-bestiality law will forbid sex between humans, since, you see, humans are members of the animal family. Gawker, Newsweek, Mother Jones, The Buzz, and The Huffington Post all ran with it. Problem is, the bill doesn't actually ban sex between humans, and while our politicians can be a little slow, they definitely didn't forget that humans are technically animals.

"The answer is this poorly-worded miasma of a law recently passed in Florida, which presumably was designed to prevent bestiality and promote animal welfare, but which has actually made it illegal, effective October 1, 2011, for anyone to have sex in Florida," wrote Southerfriend Scientist.

See, the bill as written prohibits "knowing sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal," and doesn't specifically define "animal" and humans are technically "animals," so ergo human sex will be outlawed.

Except, it won't be. This blog has a crude take on why it doesn't outlaw sex between humans, but it's much more complicated than it needs to be.

Rick Scott hasn't signed the bill into law just yet, but assuming he does it would become part of Chapter 828 of Florida law. Chapter 828 specifically deals with crimes involving animals, and the very first statue in 828 defines broad terms that would appear in other statutes in the chapter.In fact, here's the first sentence from 828.02:
In this chapter, and in every law of the state relating to or in any way affecting animals, the word "animal" shall be held to include every living dumb creature
"Dumb creature" is a rather crude way of putting it, but that excludes humans, but we're glad some traffic-hungry websites got a little bit of traffic out of this none story.

Thanks for playing along blogosphere.

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16 comments
kobidobidog
kobidobidog

Scientists finally admit that we are animals. What do you do now with your do not have sex with animal theory? Lutheran Surrealism
Thursday, March 28, 2013
SCIENTISTS PROCLAIM ANIMALS AND HUMANS THE SAME: LEFTISTS LINE UP TO HAVE SEX WITH ANIMALS

kobidobidog
kobidobidog

Humans are animals

KJV, James 1:20. the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God.Fining, banning, arresting, jailing,giving death is the wrath of man. Stop giving the wrath of man against the zoosexual.

 Stop being demonic -putting people in bondage,


jpelic
jpelic

That makes it look even stupider! xD

"Dumb creature". So... humans who can't talk are forbidden from sex? Or wait, just about every animal utters sounds through their vocal cords, which means none of them are dumb creatures. So do they mean 'dumb' in the modern sense, like stupid? So people with severe autism or down syndrome are banned from having sex?

I know they want to ban bestiality, and that's great and all, and it's completely within the state's freedom, but, 'DUMB CREATURE'? What's wrong with 'non-human'? So now all they've done is turn one vague term into two even vaguer terms! Who the hell is Florida's star English major? How does this governor keep screwing up his own language this many times in a row this badly??

Luke Thomas
Luke Thomas

Bestiality is more common than you think. Gonorrhea and chlamydia originated from cows; HIV from chimps and Herp B (which causes deadly meningitis in humans) from monkeys. Kinsey reports reveal 17% of farm workers had sex with the animals. Though they say HIV came from bush meat, I tend to doubt that because bush meat was around for centuries. People also keep chimps for pets, and if you knew anything about zoology, chimpanzees become highly, highly sexual once matured, and I find it disturbing how anybody would want that for a pet walking around with erections. That's how I believe HIV got introduced to the human population. (Chimpanzee male organ has spines on it too which can cause tearing of the rectum).   If you GOOGLE "bestiality", beastforum, zootube, etc a million bestiality web sites pop up. beastforum even has a "personals" column where zoophiles meet and have sex orgies with their pets or farm animals, in every State including Florida. Aside from moral issues, if you google child porn arrest, just about in every case bestiality porn is included in their collection. CONNECT THE DOTS! If a person is willing to have sex with a small animal, children are next. Subhuman animals carry many UNKNOWN viruses (harmless to the animal, but can be deadly to humans) which if it passes to a single human will soon become a world wide epidemic. Bestiality SHOULD be banned if not for moral issues, but to help protect public health. Please sign/share my Petition to ban bestiality as a Federal law (there are no Federal laws against bestiality!) Sign here and share please:   http://www.change.org/petition...

Jason
Jason

that is weird that they say dumb animals, must be a bunch of dolphin molesters writing this law

Nobody
Nobody

 So it only bans sex with blondes?

BothersaidPooh
BothersaidPooh

Anyone with an IQ of less than 80 should be subject to this law. Including politicians.Stop stupid people breeding now, save the planet!!!

Robertockman
Robertockman

I'm confused. Dumb creatures? Does this law outlaw sex with mutes? If a dog humps my leg am I in trouble? When the women swim with the dolphins and the dolphin does a "dolphin roll" is this a violation?

Ldymdnyt
Ldymdnyt

I know a lot of humans who I'd classify as "dumb creatures" and sex with them SHOULD be illegal. Some folks just shouldn't be allowed to pro-create.

Willy
Willy

Some humans are dumb. Does that make it illegal for them to have sex? It should be a crime for dumb humans to procreate.

Marty
Marty

If it outlaws sex with dumb creatures, then the Flordia elected officials are officially going to be excluded from sex. What about time spent creating jobs?

kobidobidog
kobidobidog

@Luke Thomas: All of what you leaned came from people selling magic in a pill or shot. It is called sorcery,  witchcraft . If your eye is offended  by erections plunk it out. Www.upcspine.com or upper cervical health centers,  now,  all ages. Avoid, and even lesson the existing symptoms. 

Your teaching are demonic. There is no such thing as sub human. All of us are born and die. All of us are made from eukaryote cells. Be like Jesus is be Moral.

kobidobidog
kobidobidog

@Robertockman You are showing how stupid human law is.

kobidobidog
kobidobidog

@Marty I can see this coming. SWAT team breaking into a persons house stopping sex from occurring because the person was not a straight A student. 

ardvark1a
ardvark1a

There are so many jobs in Fla they are going to reduce the UE benefit weeks from 26 to 23.

Me
Me

No it was reduced to 20

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