Jason Terry's Stupid Tattoo Will Come Back to Haunt Him, Unless He Takes Our Advice
|Keith Allison via Wikimedia Commons|
When Dwyane Wade left his hand in the air after swishing a three-pointer to put the Heat up by 15 in Game 2, Jason Terry took offense. The Dallas Mav-prick followed Wade toward half-court, cussing him out. And when the Mavs came back to win in the dying seconds, Terry cited Wade's celebratory gesture as inspiration.
Let's take a moment to remember: this is the guy who got a tattoo of the freakin' NBA trophy on his arm before the finals even began. Talk about premature celebration.
Now that the Heat is back on ass-kicking track with its win over Dull-ass last night, we hope Terry's stupid tattoo comes back to haunt him. Just in case he doesn't want a painful reminder of his shortcomings permanently inked on his arm, however, we've come up with five ways to transform the tattoo to hide his arrogance.
• Beautiful butterfly: Terry is obviously a sensitive guy. Why else would he flip out when Wade simply followed through on a sweet shot? Terry is himself a three-point specialist who doesn't shy away from celebrating. So maybe a nice, colorful arthropod on his arm would boost his self-esteem above douchebag level. Just add some wings to the existing tat, and voila.
• Propeller plane: Despite his nickname and his own annoying airplane celebrations, Terry is not really much of a jet. Instead, his tattoo should feature an old-timey plane that's just like him: slow and prone to breaking down in the clutch.
• Ice-cream cone: Maybe Dallas's defeat will be so crushing that Terry will go off the rails in Gucci Mane fashion. If he does, he already has the rapper's ice-cream cone tattoo halfway done -- just in a slightly more subtle spot.
• Jason Terry: He's tall and bald, just like the trophy. The tattoo practically inks itself. Besides, meta-tattoos are in these days. It would be a RIP to his own naiveté.
• Penis: Why not? The basic design is already there. Plus it's less embarrassing than admitting you got a trophy tattooed on your arm before you actually won it.