Marlins Win! Marlins Win! Holy Sh*t, Marlins Win!
Javier Vazquez pitched a scoreless 5 1/3 innings, which is pretty awesome considering he entered last night's game with the worst ERA in the majors. Mike Stanton and Omar Infante had two RBIs a piece. And our new 80-year-old manager Jack "Lemon" McKeon got his first win. He's now 1/2, which, coincidentally, is the bookies' odds that he'll kick the bucket by the time you finish reading this blog.
If the Fish win tonight, it'll be the first time they've won two in a row since May freakin' 26. Here's an idea of just how long ago that was.
On May 26, when the Marlins swept the world-champion Giants:
- Anthony Weiner's erect penis had yet to grace America's television and computer screens.
- Michelle Bachmann was still just a glassy eyed, junior congresswoman with no foreign policy credentials and zero chance at winning the presidency. Now, on the other hand, she's... oh never mind.
- The Miami Heat were heavily favored to win the NBA championship.
- LeBron James was the clutchiest clutch guy to ever nail a clutch.
- Dirk Nowitzki was a pussy. (Notice the use of the past tense. Nice ring, Dirk)
- And Urban Beach Weekend was just a noisy, crowded, drunken event and not a nationally televised firestorm of racial anxiety and needless killing.
|The Marlins are winning. We can all be fans again.|
Especially Michelle Bachmann.
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