Miami Heat vs. Dallas Mavericks NBA Finals Game 4: LeTurd
Meanwhile, LeBron James had the worst performance of his playoff career. Dwyane Wade's 32 points went for naught, and things are now knotted up at 2-2 after the Heat blows yet another chance to put the Mavericks away. Let's say fuck a bunch in frustration!
While D-Wade continues his amazing feats of awesome, his teammates pretty much disappeared when he needed them most. Wade not only mashed skulls on the offensive side, but also he was a force on defense and on the boards. But while he was going around kicking Maverick ass, Bosh and James decided to light a bag of cat shit on fire instead of scoring some points, blowing a golden opportunity to not only take a 3-1 series lead but also shove it in Jason Terry's stupid towel-waving, let's-celebrate-every-fucking-basket face. That dipshit celebrates EVERYTHING.
- Are people really comparing Dirk Nowitzki to Michael Jordan because they both played in the finals with the flu? Oh, eat a bag of dicks, Planet Earth.
- A 21-9 run in the last ten minutes by the Mavs after the Heat had a nine-point lead. At some point, the Heat will have to have to stop it with this blowing-leads shit. Stop it already, assholes!
- LeBron was 3-for-11, went to the free-throw line only four times, and scored a total of eight points. LeBron took a giant shit on Wade's big night. No way around it.
- Chris Bosh on LeBron's dick-breath night: "He struggled. Point blank. Period."
- DeShawn Stevenson looks like he smells like Key West strippers and cigarettes.
- Joel Anthony grabbed eight rebounds in the first half, but one in the second. He can be a useless giant sometimes.
- According to Ellias, Nowitzki has outscored LeBron 44-9 in the fourth quarter of these finals. I think flaming piles of cock best describes one's feeling in reading that stat.
- Say what you will about the Heat's amazing ability to shit all over itself, but these Dallas Mavericks are resilient fucks. They. Just. Won't. DIE.
- Yet another stat to make you feel like you've been fucked by a hedge trimmer: The Heat defense held the Mavericks to 39 percent shooting and finally got a solid game from Chris Bosh and still lost.
- LeFart noise.
- There has to be another way for Miami to get around Dallas's zone defense than just the ol' "heave the ball at the basket from 30 feet away and pray to Baby Jesus that it goes in" play, yes?
- Six turnovers in the final 12 minutes with Bosh and James playing basketball the way old people fuck will lose ballgames.
- With a huge Game 5 on Thursday at Dallas, the series finally shifts back to Miami on Sunday, although it feels like we've been playing in Dallas since 1974. Jesus the 2-3-2 Finals format is fucking asinine.
|Coming' back home to close shit out. Hopefully. STOP BEING A USELESS DICKHOLE AND GET YER SHIT TOGETHER, LEBRON!!|
Game 5 is on Thursday at Dallas. Tip-off is 9 p.m.
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