Marlins Win Six in a Row, Leave Cubs Closer with ERA of Infinity

Categories: Sports
Thumbnail image for mckeon marlins lost.jpg
Trader Jack, full of pride.
It looked like the Fish were going to lose this one. Down 2-0 against the Chicago Cubs going into the ninth at Wrigley Field, there didn't seem to be much hope. Then Cubs closer Carlos Marmol came in.

His first three batters saw a combined 12 balls and one strike. With Marlins Mike Stanton, Mike Cameron and John Buck on base, the Cubs staged a spectacularly awful team effort that involved a Greg Dobbs double, a guy falling in the base path and an over-thrown toss to home. And then, somehow, the Marlins were up 3-2.

Cubs manager Mike Quade, fresh off coaching the National League all-star team, for some reason decided to leave Marmol in, so the poor schmuck also had the chance to walk Emilio Bonifacio before getting pulled. Four walks, five earned runs, 0.0 innings pitched. ERA and WHIP for the game: Infinity. The first relief pitcher to put forth such a prolifically useless performance since old Jack McKeon's playin' days... in 1900.

The Marlins ended up winning 6-3, their sixth win in a row and 12th since McKeon took over managing duties late last month. It's almost enough to make you forget that, at 44-48, they're 13.5 games back in the NL East standings and 10 games back in the wild card race.

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Worst paid attendance ever
Worst paid attendance ever

The reviled Marlins are in last place in MLB for attendence.

When the Marlins move to Miami and lose the Broward residents who actually pay for tickets the Marlins are totally screwed.

Free tickets
Free tickets

The hated Marlins sell less than 800 tickets a game. The other 500 spectators get free tickets.

David Samson and Jeff Loria stole $3 BILLION from the taxpayers of Miami-Dade County.

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