Miami Heat Players Get Part-Time Jobs During Lockout
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| Coach Erik Spolestra: "Will lose championships for food." |
But, without marketable skills that don't involve stuffing a round thing into a round thing, the players are rapidly being forced to take jobs a little lower than their usual pay scale. Here's a list of five Miami Heat players who have already taken up second jobs.
LEBRON JAMES: Fast-food worker
Burger King James!
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| Crown, no rings. |
Juwan Howard: Wal-Mart greeter
He meets the age requirement, and certainly looks lovely in that vest.
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| "I was the first basketball player to have a $100 million contract AND to have a 35-pin blue vest. Have a nice day." |
Chris Bosh: Urinal
It's not that he deserves it, but he is much better equipped than most to do the job.
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Dwyane Wade: Shoe salesman
He's got style and a long history of wearing shoes that make all the ladies swoon. It only fits that he take his footwear discretion to the nearest mall.
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| "Oh, Juwan! You want the velcro ones." |
Zydrunas Ilgauskas: Sofa
He's big and cushy and just right for your living room!
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