Every Friday, Riptide brings you the most eye-catching mugshots taken the previous week (or thereabouts) in Miami-Dade County. Yes, there is some mockery of bad neck tattoos, but also adulation directed at perps who just plain look more badass than we ever will. This is the italicized intro to that series.
Arrested: 7/6
Charged with: Battery
Look! He's got baby hair! He's got hair like a baby! Hey, Mr. Babyhair, why do you breathe so heavy? And how come you get a bald spot if we let you lie on your back for too long?
Arrested: 6/30
Charged with: Cocaine possession, possession of a controlled substance, possession of drug paraphernalia with intent to use
We don't understand why this guy is in trouble. Of course he's in possession of controlled substances. Look at him. HE'S A DOCTOR.
Arrested: 7/4
Charged with: Battery
This is what happens when you try to fit too much cool in one measly human body -- it pops out the top. And out the front tooth.